双语:九大错误遏制个人发展

时间:2008-12-03 08:45:03 来源:英语学习网站
When trying to grow it's easy to stumblemore than once and scratch your knees on your way to success, happiness, expansion of consciousness and all that good stuff.
在成长的过程中,为了获得成功、欢乐、意识的发展以及所有向往的美好事物,你往往很容易不止一次的跌倒,划伤膝盖。

There is certainly some pits to watch out for and here's nine mistakes – in no particular order – that I'd say are very common.
除此之外,我还要告诉你,必须当心那些坑洼,这就是我将要提到的九大遏制你个人发展的错误(不按特定的顺序),他们是极其常见的。

I have certainly made a lot of them. More than once.
就个人经验来讲,我个人已经犯过很多种上述错误,而且不止一次的犯同样的错误。

If you can, try be observantof your own behaviour and to learn from my mistakes. While we perhaps learn best from our own mistakes there is no reason for you to at least waste a little less time that I and so many others before me have done.
如果可以,请你仔细留意自己的行为,并从我的错误经历中总结出教训。这样,如果我们能够从自己的错误经历中去粗取精,那么,你就完全没有理由在我乃至其我之前的其他很多人都作过的事情上浪费一丁点儿的时间了。

Now, let's go.
那么现在,让我们开始吧。

1. Thinking you already know everything.
错误一:自以为已经无事不晓。

This one is a big problem and can halt growth for a very long time. It's the mindset that says: “I know how the world works. I don't need that snake-oil salesman stuff to improve my life. They have nothing new to offer. Only desperate people need those books to get their life together. It's just common sense.”
这一个很大的问题,它能很长时间阻止你的成长。这种思维模式是:我了解整个世界的运作,我不需要买骗人的万灵油来改善我的生活。他们说的总是千篇一律。只有无可救药的人才需要那些书籍来让生活继续。这样的事情都太平常不过了,不值一提。

This attitude and close-mindedness will make it very difficult for you to grow. When you start reading about personal development from writers such as Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy or Wayne Dyer you quickly realise that their best advice is not that much common sense at all. In fact, it's often the opposite to the more commonly accepted “truths” that many of us have heard through school, media and other people throughout our lives.
这样消极的生活态度和狭隘的心灵将使你的成长变得艰难。当你开始阅读一些关于个人发展的书籍,例如,安东尼·罗宾、博恩·崔西或者韦恩·代尔所写的书籍,你就会发现他们的建议并不完全是毫无意义的;事实上,他们的建议和那些我们从学校、媒体和身边的人们那听到的道理,那些更为常见的“真理”恰恰相反。

2. Being confused by the marketing hype
错误二:因夸张的促销广告而产生疑惑。

The mindset in the first example isn't totally of the mark. There are snake-oil salesmen in every line of business. And since most successful personal development authors/speakers really knows how to communicate there is bound to be perhaps a more than average amount of the high-pressure sales stuff you can read about in books like Influence by Robert Cialdini. Stuff like offering a small free gift to the consumer, saying that there are only 500 copies of the product and that the offer will only be available for one week.
这与第一种错误心理是完全不一样的。在各行各业都有卖“万灵油”的推销员。当最成功的个人发展类作家或演讲家知道了如何与读者交流,你就能够在很多书籍中阅读到超过平均水平的。罗伯特·西奥迪尼所著的《影响力》就是其中之一。 或者是,能够给消费者提过一个免费的小礼品的书籍,例如此类书籍只有500本而且发行期仅限于一个星期。

But even though some marketing techniques may seem overly optimistic or kinda aggressive doesn't mean that the products are without value. Don't confuse the sales techniques with the products.
但是即使一些促销手段看上去过于乐观或者些许带些冒犯的意味,也并不意味着书籍本省没有价值。不要将促销手段和书籍的实际价值混为一谈。

I say, start with trusted names or products that have received great reviews. Do a bit of your own research via google and browse the reviews on amazon before you buy. See what other people think. If you'd like, take a look at this list of my favourite personal development products so far.
我建议,从那些值得信赖的作家或者受到好评的书籍开始。在google上做一些调查,在买之前在Amazon网站上查阅评论。看看其他人的看法。如果你喜欢,还可以看看目前最受欢迎的个人成长类书籍列表。

3. Not taking action
错误三:没有采取行动

Thinking that reading a book or blog will automatically transform you and your life. But knowledge without action on your part is not that very transforming. And only you can change yourself. Others can only give a bit of advice, support and motivation. But in the end, you have to take the steps in real life.
认为阅读一本书或浏览一个博客将会自然而然的改变你和你的生活。但是,心动没有行动并不能如你所愿的产生作用。只有你自己可以改变自己。其他人只能给与一些建议、支持和激励。但是最后,你必须在现实生活中采取行动。

Have a look at Don't get stuck in reading for more thoughts on the common affliction of getting stuck in reading a whole lot of personal development books without putting much of the advice into action.
可以阅读一下《不要拼命阅读》,其中有更多有用的想法。它们可以帮助那些读遍所有个人成长类书籍,却始终不能将书中的建议加以实践的人,让他们摆脱困扰。

If you have problems taking action, it's often due to fear. Try the first and the second suggestion in this article on overcoming fear. It helped me to get going.
如果你总是不能采取行动,那多半是因为你的恐惧。建议尝试本文章中第一条和第二条的建议,它们对我很有帮助

4. Giving up
错误四:轻言放弃

At the first or third failure thinking “It's no meaning. I am who I am and that can't change. I just have to get used to that thought.” Don't give up. One or five or 20 failures ain't that big of a deal in the long run. You have to fail to get good at something and to grow.
第一种或者第三种导致失败的想法:“这都没有意义。我只能是我自己,不能有什么改变。我不能不接受这个想法。”不要放弃,一次,五次,甚至是二十次的失败,从长远来看,都算不了什么。你不可能总是事事十全十美,即使失败了,也要继续前进。

5. Worrying about/listening to what others think
错误五:害怕或是拒绝吸取别人的想法

You might fear that people will react in badly to your change.
你可能会害怕看到人们对你的变化作出不好的反应。

And they might actually do that.
而且,他们很有可能就会作出不好的反应。

Perhaps they do not want you to change because then they fear drifting apart and losing you forever. 或许,他们不想你去改变,因为他们害怕从此就会和你疏远,最终永远失去你。

Or they might not want to see you improve as that will make them feel like they are standing still in life. Or give you unhelpful heap of negative thoughts on personal development and that it's all just common sense, a waste of time and that in real life it doesn't work like in the books.
或者,他们可能不想看见你改变,因为那样就会让他们感觉自己在原地不动。或者,他们会给你一些关于个人发展的无用的、消极的想法,这些都是很正常的,只是在浪费时间,毕竟现实生活和书里的描述不同。

If you get stuck here it's probably because you need validation from others. Take a look at Why you should not compare yourself to others for some thoughts and practical tips for overcoming or at least reducing this very common problem.
如果你深陷其中,那可能是因为你需要得到别人的认可。建议阅读《为什么你不应该把自己比作别人》,这本书对中极其常见的问题很有帮助。

6. Dabbling with it
错误六:浅尝辄止

Dabbling with your personal development and personal growth material on and off. Not committing to studying/action and developing it consistently as a part of your life.
对那些关于个人发展和个人成长的书籍,停停看看,看看停停。不用对学习或者行动下任何保证,只要把它当成你生活的一部分不断的坚持下去。

Perhaps you feel it's just too hard. Or just not worth it. And therefore not commit to it.
或许,你觉得这简直是太难了,或者根本就不值得,那么,就不要下决心去做。

Is it hard? Yes, sometimes. But I find that growing is overall a lot more positive than negative. And I think that from an outsider's perspective – as someone who hasn't immersed his/herself yet - it often looks as if there is a lot more struggle, time and money invested than when you look at from the inside perspective. Hard work isn't that hard when you feel you are growing and like what you are doing.
很难吗?是的,有时候。但是我发现,在成长的整个过程中,还是积极多过消极的,而在这个过程中,从一个旁观者的角度——一个还没有深陷其中的人——要比从一个当事人的角度看到更多的挣扎,更多消耗的时间和金钱。当你感觉到自己的成长时,困难也不觉得那么困难了,甚至喜欢自己正在做的事情。

Is it worth it? Well, it’s certainly better than the alternative. Just running or drooning around day after day filled with anxiety, stress and a low sense of self expressed in all kinds of direct or indirect ways ain't no fun.
它值得吗?当然,它肯定比选择好。整天漫无目的地跑来跑去,承受着来自各个方面的焦虑、压力和薄弱的自我表达感,可不是什么好玩的。

Keys to success with anything in life are consistency and patience. Commit to your personal growth. 想要在生活中取得成功,最关键的是持之以恒和具有耐心。全心全意的投入到你的个人成长中。

7. Having unreasonable expectations
错误七:怀着不切实际的期望

This stems from a lack of information. Sometimes both in quality and quantity. When you get you first start you may think that just reading one book will solve all your problems. Not having a reasonable picture of what you can expect will make you feel disappointed and like a failure for no good reason. This can quickly lead to giving up.
这种思想产生于信息的匮乏,有时候甚至是数量和质量的同时匮乏。当你开始关注自己的个人成长时,你可能会以为只要阅读一本书就可以解决所有的问题。对自己能达到的期望没有一个清醒的预见,最后只能让你失望并且感觉自己失败的毫无理由。这样很快就导致放弃。

To get good results, you need to know things like: you will be enthusiastic in the beginning – as with anything new and exciting - but that enthusiasm will probably dissipate.
为了得到好的结果,你需要知道: 像那些新鲜且令人兴奋的事情,会让你一开始充满了热情,但这片热情很有可能消失殆尽。

That's normal. And when you are prepared for it, when you get to know your emotional weather more closely, it’s gets easier and easier to control. You know that there will be rain. But it won't last forever, even if it might feel so.
这是很正常。而且当你正在为它做准备时,当你越来越了解自己的感情天气,它就会越来越容易控制。你会知道什么时候会下雨。但是,它不会永远这样,即使感觉上是。

One motivating method I use to get out of that low emotional state is to develop an on-going habit of consuming development material, whether it is in the form of a books, blogs, audiotapes or dvds. I'm building my own small library and filling it with solid and practical advice on personal growth. 用来克服低落情绪的一种激励方法是养成一个持续的习惯,不断的学习与发展相关的各种材料,不管是书籍、博客,还是磁带、DVD等。我正在建立自己的小型图书馆,并在里面装满各种值得信赖、切合实际的对个人成长有帮助的建议。

Revisiting to a tape by Brian Tracy not only gets me motivated again but often presents me with ways to solve the problem at hand too. This habit - combined with action - will over time bring clarity to what you want, which methods that work best for you and the possibilities and limitations in your own personal growth.
每次听博恩·崔西的磁带,不仅让我深受鼓舞,而且还能帮我提供解决问题的很多方法。这个习惯需要和实际行动结合起来,久而久之,你就能了解到什么是自己想要的,什么方法是对自己最有用的,什么是你成长过程中的可能性和限制因素。

8. Failing to/not wanting to (at least start to) understand yourself
错误八:不了解自己或者是不想去了解自己(至少还没有开始)

To change yourself you have to learn about the processes inside yourself. How your emotions work. How you ego works. How you past experiences and habits can affect you. And what you can do about all of that. How you can help yourself. Even when parts of you are working against what you really want.
要改变自己,首先必须了解自己。自己的情感是怎么样的,自己的自我价值是什么,过去的经历和习惯是怎样影响自己的,还有自己能对这些有何作为,怎样帮助自己,甚至自己的某些心理正在跟自己想要的作对。

So I say, don't stick to one guru and to one line of thought. Read/listen to books from a lot of highly regarded authors to broaden your knowledge and number of possible solutions to your problems.
因此,不要迷信一个人的指引,也不要只信守一种思想,而要阅读不同的书籍,倾听不同的声音,这样才能开阔你的知识面,才能更多可以解决问题的方法。

Try to be more conscious. Be aware of what processes are taking place inside you when you become angry, depressed, jealous or envious. Try not to react in the knee-jerk manner you may often do.
努力使自己更理智。当你生气、低落、嫉妒或着羡慕的时候,留意自己内心的变化,尽量使自己不要未加思索的作任何反应。

Instead, in the moment, apply what you have learned about handling this issue. If you fail to do so – which everyone does a lot, so beat yourself up about it – take some time later to analyse why you felt/did that negative thing. And what you can do about it when it arises the next time.
相反,此刻,应该将自己所学到知识运用到待解决的问题。如果你失败了,其实每个人都有失败的经历,那就让接受失败。之后,花一些时间,分析一下自己感觉到或者是所做的消极的事情,总结一下经验,以便下次在发生类似情况时,你能有所准备。 

9. Not taking responsibility for yourself
错误九:为自己推卸责任

This is absolutely essential. Don't blame anyone else. It’s up to you to change.
其实这是非常重要的。不要责备其他任何人。重要的是该是你改变的时候了。

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